I'm testing out a new location for this blog.

I think I'm moving to blogger. I need java to work and I can't afford to self host right now. So this is being posted from blogger. I'm currently testing twitter and facebook.

Please let me know what you think. I think I have more options here....

Thanks

LT

Maybe we aren't so different.

A friend sent me a message on Facebook today. She had some information she thought we might be able to use. I was touched by the gesture but what really hit was what she said later. I'll share that in a minute.

I have said many times that I wish people understood what it was like to be in our shoes. She responded to that honestly by saying, " I cant say that I understand completely except from one parent to another your happy when they are happy, you laugh when they laugh, you cry when they cry because you love them so much. "

That statement really hit me. If more people felt that way then maybe we could bridge the gap. Maybe we wouldn't have to feel so isolated. People wouldn't have to walk in our shoes to show or feel compassion for our children. They would just understand on a basic human level. Our kids are hurting so we hurt. On that level who couldn't relate? Clearly we have different challenges but we all love and support our kids. We all hurt when our children hurt. Maybe we aren't so different after all.

LT

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Back in limbo

Well we don't know anymore then what we did before today. He has a speech disorder for sure. He does parallel play. But we are not really any closer to the diagnosis. We have picked up a geneticist, GI specialist, OT and Speech. That's what I remember anyways. She wants a full genetic work up to figure out what's going on.

She doesn't know where he falls on the spectrum. She wants to make sure we don't label any wrong. So basically she said he clearly has a speech disorder and he parallel plays. However, he has good eye contact and engages socially which is good. That's all I can remember. Lizze will probably post a more detailed post on her blog.

Thanks to all for the thoughts and prayers.

LT



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It has been an "oatmeal" kind of day.

It's been a rough day but Gavin has been very difficult. Gavin has listened at all today. He just seems to ignore the rules anymore. I swear to God if I hear him say "I'm sorry" one more time my head is going to explode. He's only saying sorry because he got busted. He doesn't learn from his mistakes.

We are seeing more of the mental health issues at work here. These problem's go way deeper then Autism alone. I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take. I gave him chance after chance today and he still choose poorly. So he had oatmeal for dinner. He had almost 30 min to eat a really tiny bowl. He didn't cause he was stalling. What he didn't know was that he would have gotten desert if he had eaten it. Honestly he had more then enough time to eat what was given to him. Again he choose poorly. At least it's good to know the oatmeal is still effective.

LT

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I want a do-over for today

So I go to my mailbox and get a letter from the bank that we over drafted. So I log in to my account to see what happened. I looked over the account and ALL activity. I should have never over drafted. I was never over my limit at all. The over draft or should I say over drafts (4 total) however have caused lots of over drafts themselves.

I have a call into the bank and I'm sure they will figure it out but until then I have lots of money but it looks like this. "$ -xxx.xx". :(

At least they didn't screw up the business account.

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Autism and the school year

So I have been thinking. Wouldn't Autistic children benefit from a year round school year. It would prevent or help to prevent the loss that occurs over summer break. The kids love and need their routine. It would also serve as a sort of respite for parents.

Gavin would benefit from this tremendously. He loses far to much progress during summer break. I know funding is an issue but there are always ways around that. Just a thought.

LT

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Camp Day 1

Elliott Richard had his first day of camp today. He had a blast and can't wait to go back. It's kind of bitter sweet because he's just growing up to fast. But I'm glad he had fun and wants to go back. He deserves to have a childhood.

LT

Day camp....

Elliott Richard is off to his first day of day camp. He so desperately needs to get around kids his age. He tries so hard to engage with Gavin and his efforts are fruitless. I hope he has fun and wants to go back.

Autism and Comorbidity

Autism is challenging enough as it is. However, throwing in comorbidites is the really tough part because you rarely know what is what. We chase one symptom only to make another worse. In Gavin's case we never really know what his capabilities are because he is so behaviorally limited by all the other disorders.

LT

Autism and Hygiene

Hygiene. As if Autism wasn't challenging enough. How do you deal with hygiene issues? Gavin is having issues with bathroom hygiene, like cleaning himself up after going potty. Sometimes he cleans himself up and sometimes he doesn't. He won't talk about it and won't left us help.

The other big problem and it's a big problem is that he sometimes doesn't want to pee in the potty so he just pee's his pants. He doesn't change them afterwards. He just goes on like nothing happened. We just realized this the other day. He says that "sometimes he just doesn't want to get up to go potty". He gets engrossed in what he's doing and won't walk away.

What are we supposed to do with that? I guess we at least know where the smell was coming from now.

LT

Autism and Discipline: How do you manage?

Disciplining your kids can be tough for parents sometimes. But what if your child has Autism? Navigating the world of Autism is like trying to put one of those generic puzzles with no picture together. You are often times flying blind. I can't tell you how many times I have felt lost and defeated.

In our case with Gavin, he is a quagmire wrapped inside an enigma. He has so many other mental health issues that it really makes things difficult. How do you hold him accountable? What are the standards and are they set to high or to low? What is he actually capable of doing? These are all questions my wife and I have asked for years. Just when we think we have it figured out we realize things like, he has been playing us.

One thing about Gavin is he's truly gifted in the art of manipulation. I really mean that. He's that good. Unless we always assume he's playing us it's all but impossible to tell the difference. I bet so many of you out there know what I talking about. Should we always assume he's up to something because that feels wrong? How far is to far to push when there are no clearly defined limits?

I long for the day I go to the mail box and find the instruction manual for Gavin has finally arrived.

LT

Gavin's Weekend

This weekend was pretty good. Haven't had a good one in a while. Saturday was my grandmothers 85th birthday and everyone went to surprise her. Lizze and I had to stay back because she had a med change and a doctors appointment. My parents took all the kids for most of the afternoon and Gavin overnight.

Elliott Richard and I camped out in the living room watching king of the hill on netflix. We got up this morning and ran some errands. I did yard work and then we had a bonfire. Gavin got home around 5 or 6pm and had dinner and went to bed. He was exhausted. EJ and ER went to bed without a problem. Lizze and I watched "The Alphabet Killer" on netflix and called it a night. We had a very welcomed underwhelming weekend.
LT

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Sleepy Me

Finally getting some sleep.

LT

Controversial Video from Autism Speak

This is a very controversial video from "Autism Speaks". I'M BY NO MEANS ADVOCATING THIS VIDEO. I'm not sure how I feel about it.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDdcDlQVYtM]

I guess I have mixed feelings. On one hand I think it makes a good point making autism out to be a predator of our kids. Because the truth is it acts that way. Some people effected by autism are very high functioning and successful. I hope that this video was focusing on those without a voice of their own. I don't think that they made demons out of autistic kids if you really listen. I think the narrator is supposed to be autism talking about what he has done, is doing or will do to our kids. The fact is that even the strongest marriage will be tested under the stress of living with autism. A good portion will fail but not all. This is similar to any chronic disorder in a family unit.

On the other hand I think they used the videos in the first half of the video poorly. People could very easily infer that the voice is referring to the kids in the video as autism. I don't think that was their intent but it appears to have had that effect on many people. I think this was meant to have shock value and I think they came across wrong. I can see how some people see this as exploiting the people living with autism.

The fact is that we are all fighting for the same thing. We want to give them the best chance at life we can.  With autism involved it can be next to impossible. If nothing else this video got people talking. We need that.

I'm very curious to see what you guys think of this video. Please let me know what you think.

Let Sleepless Begin....

Well ER just had a nightmare that we were all driving in the car and the wheels fell off and we crashed. He was pretty freaked out so now he's snuggling with us and going back to sleep.

Thank you for sharing our lives. LT

A bit of relief........

Last night was pretty nice. I finally got to take something for my back. Some pain killers,muscle relaxers and motrin. I was out by 7:30pm. I haven't taken anything for my back for a really long time. I slept on the couch and at some point I ended up with ER draped across my legs. I kept trying to shake him off cause - though he was Maggie. I slept in and it was great. I woke up to Gavin having a meltdown over something I can't remember. But it was still nice to not hurt even just for a little while. Thanks honey.

Thank you for sharing our lives. LT